The Most Idiotic PR Email We Ever Received

As a music magazine, we receive dozens of emails every week promoting new music, pushing news, and providing reporting opportunities. Combing through this never-ending flood in the inbox is maybe the most tiresome task running Negative White.

However, once in a while, a PR email stands out—and today’s contestant is so bad, so moronic, that we can’t withhold you of its stupidity. Let’s start with the headline:

«Your taste in music invites bacteria into your home.»

Intriguing, without a doubt. So, what’s lying underneath this bold claim?

«Are your favourite Spotify playlists turning your home into a breeding ground for bacteria? Experts at Company X sound the alarm and warn of a surprising link between music streaming habits and household hygiene.»

Yes, I’ve censored the company’s name for reasons I’ll explain shortly.

But the email goes on with a quote by the company’s CEO, who cannot be found anywhere on the web: «Different music makes people feel different things—that’s a fact. What is surprising, however, is how these feelings translate into behaviours that change the microbiome of our environment.»

The PR article then explains how it works, claiming the following:

• Relaxing music reduces the heart rate, and we move more calmly, allowing dust and bacteria to settle.
• Lively music raises the heartbeat, and we move more hectically, which then stirs up dust and displaces bacteria so that they may find more suitable breeding grounds.
• Music can also affect bacteria that live on our skin. Emotional responses to music can make us sweat, creating a moist environment where bacteria like to colonise.

The article then suggests ways to mitigate the risks with handy tips like balanced playlists, regular dusting, and skincare. Thanks so much; what would I do without you?!

AI-generated SEO Bullshit

The article’s premise is already so idiotic that I had to look deeper at the article and the company behind this «research paper». Yes, they really call it that.

The text is stuffed with obvious keywords like Spotify or organisations like Harvard Health, The Daily Beast, and CNN, which apparently should provide some legitimacy but are only in the article to optimise the text for search engines. The general practice is called SEO, Search Engine Optimisation.

The article, written in German, clearly shows signs of being generated with an AI tool. The sentence structure is unnecessarily complicated and weird, and the overuse of bullet points is also something AI-generated text is prone to.

A short experiment with ChatGPT offers similar results in text as the email we received, boldly voicing claims of research, studies, and experts—obviously without any sources.

A Cycle of Garbage

The email came from an address that leads us to a crappy content factory called WireRelay which pumps out garbage like «Experts warn: answering calls with your right ear could cause brain damage!».

But the most obvious giveaway that we deal with some otherworldly bullshit here is Company X. What is this company actually doing?

They offer AI chatbots for influencers where users can pay $10 to chat with an AI version of their influencer. So far, they offer two influencers you can chat with. Impressive! Nothing in the article remotely has to do with their business, nor do they have any music, hygiene, or health expertise.

Unfortunately, a quick search reveals that this article has been published several times by self-proclaimed media outlets, perpetuating the trash. Some even cared so little that the final ask in the email was included: «Please refer to URL of Company X if you decide to use the research.»

It’s a whole shitty ecosystem: content farms promoting fake business with fake research published by fake media websites.